I Hate Cell Phones

The ScubaJedi is really really mad. I must rant.

I went to the movies tonight for the first time in months and now I remember why I rarely go out to the movies. I went to a popular new release, "He's Just Not That Into You" because I regard the self-help book as my own personal oracle of life. The theatre was packed. It used to be that before the film began, they would tell the audience to kindly STFU (shut the f*** up) during the film. Now they have included text messaging to the list of annoying things that distract from the film. And, as with the constant talkers, the text people persist in lighting up their stupid cell phones because they can't focus on any one thing for more than 3 minutes.

There was a woman sitting on the other side of my friend who could not stop text messaging on her Blackberry. Now, I must admit, I love my Blackberry. As a mater of fact I have two of them. One is my work leash, one is my personal device. I was trying to enjoy the film and my eyes would be distracted from it by the light of the Blackberry. I paid $9.75 to get in the fecking movies and I can't even watch the film because Princess had to keep texting and checking e-mail. What kind of a loser can't switch off their stupid cell phone and leave it for two hours? Do we need to start putting Ritalin in the water supply?

One friend said, oh, it's just this age group. That is no excuse. Rude is rude and manners have NOT gone out of style as far as I am concerned. My momma would slap the stupid right off your face if she were still alive and you pulled this kind of crap.

I swore to God in heaven that the next time I go to the movies (and I doubt it will be any time soon) and anyone near me is fiddling with their personal communicator, I am going to put my Doc Martins right up their ass. I will start a bona-fide fist fight and I will win. I will not only shove my foot up their bo-hiney, but their cell phone is going up there too. They won't walk right for a month, that's what I'm betting. When I get through with them they will wish they never walked in to the Verizon store and bought that thing.

Put the cell phones down for a few, folks, that's all I am asking. Give it a rest, for the love of Pete!

That is all I have to say about that.
The ScubaJedi

The Just Friends Kiss of Death

Every time I meet a guy I find myself attracted to, he is never interested in me. It is confusing and strange in that we'll usually go out, they will pick up the dinner tab, drive, all the ingredients to a "date" then by the end of the "date" I get the old Just Friends Kiss of Death (hereinafter referred to as the JFKOD) but without an actual kiss. Somewhere in the course of our being together they decide they are not interested and give me the line that they don't want to date right now because of Fill In The Blank. They just want to be friends. Then the next thing I know they are hitting on my friends. Oh, so it wasn't that they aren't interested in dating because of some tragic circumstance in their life, they just aren't interested in dating me.
The line about just wanting to be friends is also a crock. My friends contact me out of the blue to see how I'm doing, they invite me to go places and see things with them, they come over, they invite me over, they lend me money, I lend them money, provide moral support in times of tragedy, and you know, act like friends. These guys, if I don't contact them somehow, I will never, ever hear from them again after the JFKOD. So why do they even bother to offer friendship? These guys aren't friends. They certainly don't act like it. I know why they lie like that, because they don't want to hurt our feelings, but let me tell you something, gentle readers, it hurts more to be strung along. So, my new rule (actually it was put into effect last year), is that I require reciprocity, especially from men. If I find myself always doing the work, i.e. contacting them and they never contact me first, they are off my mailing list. It's that simple. It's totally apparent that they have no interest in me in any way.

It is baffling though. Especially in this age of the Information Superhighway, I can't even find the on-ramp. I have experienced the weirdest behavior and I think it is condoned because of the anonymous nature of the Internet. I have had situations where a guy has responded to my online profile, we e-mail back and forth all day long as if we're having a conversation (I work in front of a computer all day so I am always on e-mail) and close the conversation by saying talk to you tomorrow. Then I never, ever hear from them again. Ever. WTF is that? Is the rule that guys are mostly Flaksters? I will give them a chance the next day and lop an e-mail saying hello. Then, if I don't hear back, and I almost never do, off the list they go and into the e-dumpster. If they were called away to go fight evil in Afghanistan, or some other lamo excuse, the very least they could do would be to let me know. But they don't. They just evaporate. Great disappearing act, Mr Magician! So we know what that means, loud and clear. So, what I am trying to say and affirm is that I will not waste my precious time on anyone who doesn't care about me.

You also know when you're in Just Friends city when the guy refers to you as "Buddy" or "Kiddo". Happy Birthday, Buddy! Hey there, Kiddo! Yeeaaach! Or if they "dude" you. That means they look at you as if you are another man.

I just want to be loved, is that so wrong?

Your Friendo Platonico,
The ScubaJedi